Keeping up with "the Mommies"

Forget the Jones'; its the mommies that are giving me a run for my money. I'm a mom of only two years and I've often wondered how they do it. Moms are here, they're there, they're taking their children to this playgroup, they're out at this mommy's group, they're at the mall at 8:30pm, they're at this local special event...Moms are EVERYWHERE, at all times of day, with a smile on their face, completely unphased.

Now, don't get me wrong. I've attended my fair share of playgroups and toddler activities, but sometimes, (perhaps often) at the expense of other important tasks. For me to get my children, cleansed, dressed, fed, and out the door for any morning appointment before 11 is a feat, and I usually don't get any of those daily essentials when we do it successfully. I've often felt like I'm just a lazy or slower mom, as I've frequently declined opportunities to do things with other families simply because it's inconvenient for my family's daily schedule and routine.

But not for the last two weeks. No, for the last 14 days or so, I've been keeping up with the Mommies, participating in activity after activity after activity and to be quite honest...I'm tired. We've had more days out of the house than in, and although I certainly understand why full-time at home mothers require that time away from home, it can be an overwhelming hassle. I've already mentioned the time it takes me just to get prepared to leave. Not to mention the additional challenges that come with being gone:

My children never eat as well, which means when we get home something is postponed or doesn't happen (usually naps) because they are tired and off schedule. Or sometimes just the travel time itself interrupts the usual flow of naps, and it's hard to recover. And when naps don't happen, that means bedtime needs to happen earlier but that's just more work on me because that means dinner needs to be prepared earlier and how will that happen if I've been gone all day?

So, although we did enjoy some fun times, keeping up with the Mommies is simply unrealistic for my family. Our house has been dirty (not just messy, dirty) for days; we've eaten out more in the last few days than we had all year, laundry has piled making the daily chore of finding something to wear even longer, my children are cranky and tired (despite a few hours of fun each day), bad habits and attitudes are growing because there's a limited amount of proper correction you can give on the road, and, the list goes on.

No, from now on we're going to have to find our own pace of life, and run there. We may visit the "Mommies" occasionally and join them for a few adventures that don't completely throw us off, but we're going to have to learn to have fun and enjoy life without the 30 minute drive to this place or the 45 minute trip here. Sometimes, it's just not worth it.

A Weary Moment

It's Friday afternoon, and I can recall all to vividly the excitement that I once felt when the bell rang signaling school's dismissal for the weekend because it surfaces again when my husband arrives home from work on Friday evenings. Ah. Reprieve. Relief, even if just for a moment.

I am a full-time mother. And although I have chosen to not share my daily workload with a given career, this is not an indication of my vocation; it is an assessment of my heart. I am, on a daily basis, mothering, (whether in deed or in thought) at all times. It is a bittersweet task at times, but my privilege, nonetheless, and one that I ought remember, lest I permit these precious years to pass unvalued. Somehow, these precious lives were entrusted to my care, their hearts given to my watch, their journey's commencement placed carefully in the middle of my own.

Yet on days like today, when the house is a wreck, when each child is requiring me at the same time, and when the day is passing quickly with my "to do" list still undone, it is difficult to remember the treasure that they really are. I long for some space, some time, some distance just to regroup, to find my strength and love for this life-long commitment that I have made by choice, and try again. How is that I (with 30 years of life experience and reason to guide me) can become so frustrated with two little ones who have neither? Oh, what secrets of my own wayward heart this daily job unveils. Oh, that I would grasp the lessons still unlearned in my own life as I strive to teach my children. And oh, that despite the daily demands of life, I would constantly see my children as the gift and reward from God that they truly are, for they are a beautiful addition to my life.